How do I listen well as a mentor?
Listening is not waiting politely. It is the part of mentoring that produces the information everything else depends on.
- Read time
- 3 minutes
- Module
- Core skills
- Session length
- 30 minutes
What good looks like.
Reflect back what you heard in your own words before you respond. It takes fifteen seconds and it catches misunderstandings that would otherwise cost you the whole session.
Notice what they avoid. A mentee who talks around money, or around a gap in their history, is telling you where the real work is.
Do not fill silence. The most useful sentence in a session usually arrives after a pause the mentor did not interrupt.
A sequence you can follow.
- 01
Listen without planning
Do not build your answer while they speak.
- 02
Reflect it back
So what I am hearing is…, then let them correct you.
- 03
Name what is missing
You have not mentioned X. Is that deliberate?
- 04
Then advise
Only once they have agreed you understand the problem.
What to avoid.
Nodding along and answering a different question
Interrupting to add your own similar story
Treating a pause as a failure
Extra tips
Small things that make the half hour better.
Let three seconds pass
Filling silence is the fastest way to take the session back off them.
Write their words, not your summary
Playing their phrase back proves you were listening.
Close the other tabs
Mentees can tell when you are reading; the trust does not come back.
Check before you advise
"Have I got that right?" costs ten seconds and prevents wrong advice.
Take this guide with you.
Download a printable version of this guide: the short answer, the steps, the extra tips, the mistakes to avoid and the questions mentors ask, to read before your next session.
The things people ask first.
What if they talk for the whole session?
Interrupt kindly at the halfway mark and say you want to leave time to be useful.
Next: Giving useful feedback.
Direct and kind are not opposites.