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Mentor Academy · Harder conversations

What do I do if a mentee becomes upset?

Careers are not a neutral subject. Somebody who has been rejected forty times, or made redundant last month, may not get through the half hour dry-eyed.

Read time
4 minutes
Module
Harder conversations
Session length
30 minutes
The short answer

What good looks like.

  • Do not rush past it. A short acknowledgement, that sounds genuinely hard, costs twenty seconds and changes the rest of the session.

  • Stay in your role. You are a mentor, not a counsellor or a therapist, and pretending otherwise helps nobody.

  • If someone discloses distress that goes beyond work, stop advising and point them to proper support, then tell our team through the safeguarding route.

In practice

A sequence you can follow.

  1. 01

    Acknowledge it

    Name what you are hearing without minimising it.

  2. 02

    Give them a moment

    Silence is fine. So is offering to pause.

  3. 03

    Ask what would help now

    Let them choose whether to continue.

  4. 04

    Escalate if needed

    Serious distress goes to our safeguarding team, not into your inbox.

Common mistakes

What to avoid.

  • Jumping straight back to tactics

  • Taking on the role of counsellor

  • Keeping a serious disclosure to yourself

Extra tips

Small things that make the half hour better.

Let the moment sit

Do not rush to fix it. A steady pause is the support.

Name it plainly

"That sounds genuinely hard" beats moving straight to next steps.

Know one place to point

You are not a counsellor; knowing where support exists is enough.

Return to something doable

One small, controllable action helps more than reassurance.

Take this guide with you.

Download a printable version of this guide: the short answer, the steps, the extra tips, the mistakes to avoid and the questions mentors ask, to read before your next session.

Questions

The things people ask first.

Should I end the session early?

Offer it. Let the mentee decide.

Who do I tell?

Our safeguarding team, through the route on the safeguarding page, the same day.

Next: Mentees who do not engage.

One-word answers usually mean nerves, not indifference.