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Mentor Academy · Harder conversations

What if the mentee barely says anything?

A silent mentee is rarely rude. They are usually seventeen, in a shared room, talking to a professional for the first time in their life.

Read time
3 minutes
Module
Harder conversations
Session length
30 minutes
The short answer

What good looks like.

  • Lower the stakes. Ask about something concrete and easy, what they studied or what they did last week, before anything that sounds like an assessment.

  • Offer choices instead of open questions. "Would it be more useful to talk about applications or about what the job is like?" is easier to answer than "What do you want?"

  • If they have been sent by a school or programme and do not want to be there, say that openly and offer to make the half hour genuinely theirs.

In practice

A sequence you can follow.

  1. 01

    Start smaller

    One easy, concrete question.

  2. 02

    Offer two options

    Choosing is easier than generating.

  3. 03

    Talk a little more yourself

    Give them something to react to.

  4. 04

    Name it kindly

    You seem unsure this is useful? What would make it worth your time?

Common mistakes

What to avoid.

  • Reading silence as rudeness

  • Filling all thirty minutes with your own voice

  • Giving up in the first five minutes

Extra tips

Small things that make the half hour better.

Swap open for closed

When someone is frozen, two easy questions unlock the harder one.

Say the nerves out loud

"First one of these is odd, isn't it?" resets the room.

Offer a choice of three topics

Picking is easier than producing when you are anxious.

Give them the silence

Ten quiet seconds is often all the thinking time they needed.

Take this guide with you.

Download a printable version of this guide: the short answer, the steps, the extra tips, the mistakes to avoid and the questions mentors ask, to read before your next session.

Questions

The things people ask first.

Should I report a no-show?

Yes, through the platform, so the slot can be reused.

Next: Mentoring across borders.

Your advice was formed in one labour market. Say which one.