What questions should a mentor ask?
Mentees rarely arrive with their real question. They arrive with the socially acceptable version of it. Your job in the first five minutes is to find the other one.
- Read time
- 4 minutes
- Module
- Core skills
- Session length
- 30 minutes
What good looks like.
Open questions beat closed ones, but specific open questions beat vague ones. "What happened the last time you applied?" gets you further than "Tell me about your job search."
Ask about the last concrete instance rather than the general pattern. People describe patterns inaccurately and instances accurately.
When you think you have the answer, ask one more question. The thing they say after they have already answered is usually the important part.
A sequence you can follow.
- 01
Start wide
What do you want to be different in three months?
- 02
Go concrete
Walk me through the last application you sent.
- 03
Test the assumption
What makes you think that is what is blocking you?
- 04
Ask once more
Is there anything about this you have not said out loud?
What to avoid.
Leading questions that contain your answer
Stacking three questions into one sentence
Asking why in a way that sounds like an accusation
Extra tips
Small things that make the half hour better.
Ban yes-or-no openers
"What have you tried so far?" gets more than "Have you applied?"
Ask for the last example
Concrete beats general: "Tell me about the most recent one."
Ask the same question twice
The second answer is usually the honest one.
Ask what they have already ruled out
It stops you spending ten minutes on an option they have rejected.
Take this guide with you.
Download a printable version of this guide: the short answer, the steps, the extra tips, the mistakes to avoid and the questions mentors ask, to read before your next session.
The things people ask first.
How much of the session should be questions?
Roughly the first third. After that you should mostly be answering.
Next: Listening properly.
Most mentees have never had a professional listen to them for half an hour.