What should I do in my first mentoring session?
Nearly every new mentor worries about the same thing: that they will run out of things to say. In practice the opposite happens. Structure is what keeps a good conversation from turning into a monologue.
- Read time
- 4 minutes
- Module
- Getting started
- Session length
- 30 minutes
What good looks like.
Spend the first three minutes on the mentee, not on you. Ask them to describe where they are and what they want out of the next half hour. What they say here is usually different from what they wrote.
Use the middle twenty minutes on the one thing that matters most. Resist the urge to cover everything; a single question answered properly beats five answered vaguely.
Save the last five minutes for what happens next. One action, named out loud, with a date attached.
A sequence you can follow.
- 01
Minutes 0-3
Introduce yourself in two sentences, then ask what they want to leave with.
- 02
Minutes 3-8
Ask questions. Do not advise yet. You are working out what they actually need.
- 03
Minutes 8-25
Answer the real question with specifics from your own working life.
- 04
Minutes 25-30
Agree one action, offer one resource, and end cleanly on time.
What to avoid.
Opening with your CV
Advising before you understand the situation
Overrunning, which makes the next mentee late
Ending without an action, so nothing changes
Extra tips
Small things that make the half hour better.
Write three questions beforehand
You will only need one, but having them stops the silence feeling dangerous.
Count to three after they finish
The pause pulls out the sentence they were nervous about saying.
Say the structure out loud
"Questions first, then advice, then one action" settles both of you.
End on time even if it is going well
A clean finish reads as respect, not rejection.
Take this guide with you.
Download a printable version of this guide: the short answer, the steps, the extra tips, the mistakes to avoid and the questions mentors ask, to read before your next session.
The things people ask first.
What if we finish early?
Ask what else is worrying them. There is almost always a second question underneath the first.
What if I am nervous?
Say so. Mentees are far more nervous than you, and it settles the room.
Next: Writing a mentor profile.
Say what you do now, plainly, so the right mentee finds you.