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Mentor Academy · Harder conversations

What do I say when a mentee asks me for a job or a referral?

It is a reasonable thing to hope for. It becomes a problem only when the mentor leaves it vague and the mentee waits.

Read time
3 minutes
Module
Harder conversations
Session length
30 minutes
The short answer

What good looks like.

  • Separate the two things out loud: mentoring is advice; hiring is a separate process with its own rules.

  • If you can point at an open advert or an application route, do that. It is concrete and it costs you nothing.

  • Only offer an introduction you will actually make, and give a date. A vague "I'll see what I can do" leaves someone checking their inbox for a month.

In practice

A sequence you can follow.

  1. 01

    Name the boundary early

    "I am not hiring, but here is what I can do."

  2. 02

    Offer the process

    Where roles are posted, what the sift looks for, when they open.

  3. 03

    Decide on referrals honestly

    Only if you would stand behind them.

  4. 04

    Close the loop

    If you promised something, do it within the week or say you cannot.

Common mistakes

What to avoid.

  • Implying influence over hiring that you do not have

  • Promising to "pass the CV on" without intending to

  • Getting defensive about a fair question

Extra tips

Small things that make the half hour better.

Set the boundary early

Say in minute five that you are not hiring.

Offer the process instead

Where roles are posted and what the sift looks for.

Put a date on any promise

Vague offers leave people waiting for weeks.

Refer only if you would vouch

A referral carries your name with it.

Take this guide with you.

Download a printable version of this guide: the short answer, the steps, the extra tips, the mistakes to avoid and the questions mentors ask, to read before your next session.

Questions

The things people ask first.

Can I refer a mentee I rated?

Yes, if your employer allows it and you would genuinely vouch for them.

Next: Mentoring someone after redundancy.

Steady the ground first, then work on the next thirty days.